and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
