she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
