so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Still dying that you shit outside
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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