What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
