It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
