i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize