I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
