who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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