just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
