Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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