Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
