Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
