id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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