five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
