mondays should just be called national damage control day
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How does one acquire holy water?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
