when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
