About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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