would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize