I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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