What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
