I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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