I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
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He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
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My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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