Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
You don't make any sense
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