he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
