I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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