I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
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I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
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he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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