the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
