Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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