clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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