I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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