she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
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We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
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Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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