im gay
i know
yea but for you.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
