I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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