your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize