My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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