i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
