the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
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