thus making me awesome and them whores
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize