rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
