why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
