just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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