I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Operation Purity has been aborted
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
