I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you traded sex for a burrito?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So much rum. So many feels.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
