can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
