the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
