but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
