I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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