i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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