Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
