just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
