yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize