it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
