just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
