Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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