was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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