she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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